South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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