just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
