I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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