Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
