WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
