my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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