margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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