new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
