i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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