I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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