To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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