The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
