Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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