Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
