I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
