Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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