Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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