This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
