Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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