guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a search helicopter?!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
