Are we in a gay sports bar?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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