could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
