She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
