I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
