Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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