You really coming over, don't trick.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
