i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
