Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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