i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
