why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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