dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
