You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
