bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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