She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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