I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
