I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
