just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
