Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
