Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
