i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
