She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize