This is not my ceiling
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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