i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
