How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize