I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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