the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need a burrito and a hug.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
