he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
