Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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