playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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