found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
