Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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