Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
