hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
