Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize