i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Boobs speak an international language.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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