And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We don't watch enough power rangers
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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