Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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