i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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