I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
