But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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