why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize